My name is John

At 18 I became obsessed with understanding reality and personal development. Since then I have read many books, watched videos from dozens of teachers, and spent a total of four months studying with Peter Ralston.

I spend as much time as I can engaged in a powerful first-hand experiential investigation of my own existence—the fruits of which will be the content for this blog.

I’m making this site because I feel it would be a waste not to. Although I am no master, I have accumulated a mass of knowledge that I believe can help most people live happier, healthier and more authentic lives.

Since childhood I have enjoyed the mystery and beauty of life. Science is a lifelong passion of mine, heavily influencing (sometimes limiting) my approach to ‘spiritual’ endeavors.

To understand life and cut through my own delusion, I turned to science for the answers to the universe. In this vein, I went to college for biology and aspired to help save the world through environmental solutions.

After a year of personal investigation, scientific study, self-inflicted reclusivity, and personal insight, I began having experiences of my own mind that changed the way I held self, life, knowledge, etc.

It seemed clear to me that a separate will and entity cannot really exist, yet, here I am, doing stuff.

As I investigated, the more I saw that we, as humans, misunderstand the essence of our experience. Topics so fundamental as our own free will are still being debated. I began to see that Philosophy and science did not have the answers I needed.

Then, a friend suggested I watch “Spiritual Enlightenment – The Most SHOCKING Truth You’ll Ever Hear,” a video by Leo Gura, of This sparked an obsession with Truth. It opened the possibility of determining for myself the truth behind “free will.”

Four years later, I spend many of my waking hours in a mode of contemplation and questioning.

As part of this investigation I meditate and contemplate in a rather disciplined way every day. I consume as much material on the subject as possible. I spent 4 months on retreat with Peter Ralston, who seems to be a master of investigation into nature of self, reality and consciousness. This had a powerful effect on my experience and understanding.

The result of all this is that I learned a whole lotta stuff about reality and am Happy.

My goal is that you read something here that will help you move towards clarity and freedom in your own experience.

So have fun! Learn something new.

Website organized and maintained, content edited and uploaded by my dear and loving friend, Nic Dartoozos.